Counting Votes in Beijing...

...and that can mean only one thing: Chinese Democracy has arrived.

Well, not exactly, but they have tentatively scheduled elections. While its obvious the taste-makers over at Pitchfork could care less, I can't help but be excited. I am in the strange 2-3 year age range where my early concept of what is cool was first molded by Axl, only to be later remixed by Eddie Vedder. So while I know all the reasons Gn'R are lame and irrelevant there is a basic emotional response to all things Guns. Its like once you realize the girls in porn aren't necessarily enjoying themselves: as much as your brain says turn it off, a much more primal part of you just wants more.

But Guns n' Roses doesn't really hurt anyone, unless you happen to be in the front row in St Louis, and my iron-clad cred can take a few hits from the "lame" bands I love (1). There is, however, a little question of quality. Will this thing be any good? I can't remember the last time an album was so heavily anticipated with the majority of anticipators completely unsure of what they are anticipating. We're getting ready to pull back the curtain, and its either going to be Fat Axl lazily pulling levers on a State Fair circuit novelty act, or its going to be the fucking wizard.

No one who is able to shit without substantial pain can deny the brilliance of Appetite for Destruction. Everyone loves to credit Nirvana for ending hair-metal, but it was actually this album. The reason is that Poison and Nirvana could peacefully coexist because they never really inhabited the same sphere. But after Appetite, bands like Poison, Warrant, Slaughter, etc. were exposed. They could no longer get by with being dangerous in the Arthur Fonzarelli, lock-up-your-daughters kinda way, because Guns was dangerous in a Charlie Manson, lock-up-your-knives kinda way.

Whether that will translate to a new generation who have no history with Axl remains to be seen. Rock n' Roll is a young man's game, after all, and a 16-year hiatus presents a big problem when your target audience are 16 year olds. Or maybe that was Axl's plan: why reinvent yourself when you can just reinvent your audience? The people that ate up twenty million copies of Appetite are in their thirties now. They may buy the new record, and if their company has a corporate box at the local arena they may even catch the show, but Chinese Democracy is not for them. Its for the new crop of sixteen-year-olds who can't identify with anything on the radio today. They'll be the ones who decide if Axl is relevant again, not the people who wrote him off a decade ago.

1. Expect a future rife with posts on the quality of Geddy Lee's vocal style.